


Selenophile

by Oh_Ariadne



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux - Freeform, Bad reputation for Kylo, Darth Vader - Freeform, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Kylo Ren is an asshole, Kylo is a very scary pirate, Kylo is so big, Mentions of Kylo's family, Pirate AU, Pirate Canons, Pirate Ships, Planning for whole lot of SMUT, Relationship with the moon, Rey - Freeform, She is a hot lesbian bartender, She turns into a mermaid when she touches water like H2O, Tattoed Kylo Ren - Freeform, Vicrul is Jason Momoa, You're the mermaid, bc of I have trauma and that's hot to me, finn - Freeform, mermaid au, pirate!kylo - Freeform, so much tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29007852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Ariadne/pseuds/Oh_Ariadne
Summary: This is a Mermaid reader/ Pirate Kylo AU.Your fate was an early death, but you were saved by the moon through magical forces. Now you live alone in deep waters.Kylo is an infamous pirate on the brink of myth-hood. The only thing he needs to stabilize his legacy with is one last treasure linked to a cult of Selenophiles.What happens when you are the missing peace in his plan, and fate drops you into his lap. But he has no idea.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 32
Kudos: 56





	1. A Metamorphosis

**Author's Note:**

> Hello you guys!
> 
> I'm so excited to be writing this.  
> Just a few notes:  
> 1.The reader's only distinct features are the ones linked to being a mermaid. Like long hair and a beautiful voice.  
> 2.I am writing her to be shorter than Kylo. I'm so sorry if this excludes you.  
> 3.This is not set in space, but I will use SW names for food or locations.  
> 4\. The name of the SW planets will be used referring to as something similar to continents.

Cold, numb and exhausted was all you could feel.

Your legs had gone stiff and you had swallowed more water than you ever remember drinking.

Every once in a while a wave would run you over; pushing you down, dunking your entire head under water, coming back up heaving and coughing.  
But the last few times you didn't cough as hard. You were becoming paralyzed, no longer reacting to the ebb flow of the sea. 

How fucking foolish of you! You knew that when you got out...if you got out of here, you would receive the worst punishment of your eight- year-old life time.  
You were warned, forbidden even, from being on the beach at night time. But how was it your fault that your house was so close to the shore. Was it your doing that you could practically see the the pearlescent shells poking out of the sand? Or that you could imagine exactly how they would look like hanging around your neck?

So you ran. Ran to the soft sandy shore picking up the most perfect seashells. The closer to the sea you stepped , the more radiant and beautiful they became.  
It was like someone had left you a trail made up treasure into the heart of the sea. Drunk off of your loot you hadn't realized how your feet was getting wet, how they were digging into the wet sand; kissing the the edge of the sea.

In one crashing moment, before you could pick up the best find of your night, an opal sea shell. Still crouching with a small fortune of shells tucked under your left arm, your eyes met a towering wave.

It crushed into the shore so heavy and strong.  
You were practically carried back into the sea. Being raised in the land of Hapes meant that you knew how to swim. But now laying like dead weight on the sea surface it was established that your swimming skill and petite limbs could get you get you so far.

So you lay there. Waiting for the next current to take you away and out forever. It felt so painful. The waiting. You thought about your friends, your parents you, thought about the mere act of smelling breakfast when you're still in bed a silent promise of blue milk pancakes being made before you even open an eye.

Your salty tears mixed with the sea water already tainting your face. You felt helpless in a way only a child can. Opening your eyes for what you believed was the last time, you met another face starring back. Bold and bright with warm eyes. 

Maybe it's what too much sea water does to you, you thought. Sailors always seemed to be missing a few screws up there. So you blinked harshly trying to clear out your eyes; A difficult task when you can't use your hands. No matter how many blinks, the face remained. And by now, it looked amused. 

So the moon had a face.  
What does it matter when you have no one to terrorize with this information? 

Even thought he was older by three years, Poe would always believe your ghost stories and horror tales you would pick up from old wives and other children.  
Oh Poe, he would say "It's just the way you tell it Y/N. Like you were right there...freaks me out.''  
Well this time you were really here and it wouldn't make this an easier pitch to sell.

Defeated you stare back. You stare back for so long and so hard that you're certain she could hear you when you whispered "Please help me Mah-tuab.''  
That's what they called her in the old sea songs your dad sang as he tended the garden or shined his shoes. A little flattery was something you were willing to spend right now.  
If she heard you, she did not say anything. Just a faint smile? Can you call it that? Well you didn't have much time to register before you were dragged under the surface swishing through flocks of fish.

Eyes wide open with shock. The same look on the face of the sea animals you went by . Shooting downwards towards the heart of the sea you screamed. You screamed bloody murder actually, and only when you got tired did you realize that you needed to be breathing to do that. You were breathing under water!?

The shock didn't last long. Only to be replaced with the shock of opal scales taking over your body. You felt like throwing up maybe it was the current swirling you around; making a small under water tornado around you. My be it was the double thin fangs poking out of your mouth. Your ears hurt. Your mouth absolutely ached. And all of a sudden the swirling stopped. 

You were there frozen in your spot. This time not because of the cold. You tried flipping your...tale.  
A mermaid. You were a mermaid now. 

Confusion ran through you, but also a sense of relief for escaping death. Then again maybe you were dead, and this was the afterlife.  
Swimming up to the surface. You met the full moon again. This time faceless. You knew you should be nothing but thankful right now. That this was a gift, and she was your savior. But you were afraid. How would you live, eat or sleep? You didn't know the ways of this life. Hell, you were just starting to get a hang of being a human!

Once again tears fell from your eyes, big and salty. A splash interrupted your sob party. Then another and then another. Looking into the near distance...Were those dolphins?  
Flipping out of the water and back in under the full moon having the time of their life.

Was this your sign? Were they here for you?  
Well only one way to find out. 

Going back down you flipped your tail as hard as you could. Moving in a swift straight line. When you felt like you were close enough, with one last strong flick of your tail, you leaped through the surface and into the night sky. Suspended for mere seconds in the air you could see the dolphins around you. Jumping in or out , or just hanging in the air like you were. 

Distracted by you companions, your jump ended sooner than you imagined. Causing you to belly flop less than gracefully into the the water.

Heavens, it hurt! 

But it was the least amount of pain you had experienced tonight. Curling to grab your stomach you felt a soft limb brushing your protruding back. Peeking through one eye. You saw a small group of dolphins circling around you. You knew these fuckers got violent sometimes so this really was the moment of truth. Were you going to die a second time tonight, or will this be your newly acquired family?  
When the silence was broken by squeals of joy, maybe even amusement, you knew it was the latter.


	2. An Unexpected Treasure

Life certainly became different with your new condition. But a few run-ins with poison corals and a new skill set of avoiding predators. Plus a decade and half sea life experience later you were doing quite fine. The purpose of the fangs were a mystery while you ate whatever the dolphins gave you, but first time you "hunted" an unsuspecting crustacean they proved their value. 

The first two years you lived under the loving wing of your fellow dolphins. Sure you could hardly tell them apart. And everyone was named Valori or Mirak ,stolen from a romantic book your mom used to read ,but they were kind to you. And they protected you until you got on your feet... Well until you had to get on your feet. Because apparently dolphins migrate. You didn't know your new body enough to deiced if you were made for that sort of long distance traveling.

Anyways now there was you and...well just you. You could count in a certain pestering seagull to make it less tragic though. She had seen you snatching a crab of the coast one day, and would not let it go.

You knew it wondered about what you were. It often waited for you to re-emerge. Greeting you with an awful "KAA". It was so annoying also you're only proof that you existed beyond these waters. That if someone where to look with enough care, they would see you. Maybe wave to you. Oh how exciting to be waved at! To have a conversation, to make a joke. You had gone so long without human contact, you craved company more than any other human possession. 

To make sure you could still speak. You went to your second unconventional friend, the moon.

On every single full moon since your transformation you would go to the rocky shores, because it was almost vacant of human habitants, sit on one of the protruding brown ledges and sing to the moon. 

Now you were no musician during your eight years of human life, but you knew you sounded pleasant. More pleasant than any music you ever heard. It was another aspect of the moon's gift. So it was only fair she got to be in the audience. Yes you had others as well. 

You couldn't shake off The seagull , remember? Sitting at the edge of your rock he would also enjoy your voice.

One day the seagull brought you a flower.  
A flower that stopped your breaths and stilled you. One of your dad's favorites, an Anica flower. They grew widely where he was born. Seeing it again toke you to the single time you visited his childhood home. It was decided then you're bratty bird friend had a name. Anica or Ani on a bad day. 

It didn't take long to admit Ani was your best friend now. It was official after she led you to the ruins of a sunken ship. Yeah, she definitely earned your gratitude.  
Entering to the gaping hole in the side of the ship, you found where would be the cargo space. Hmm Caf beans. Why would anyone bring that to Hapes ? They drink tea and herbal brews .Why not bring something you could use? They deserved to drown for all you care. They probably sunk because of Caf too you were sure of it.  
Your anger quickly subsided when you reached the higher cabins. You never thought you would get to see this stuff again. Dishes and candle holders. Wooden tables and closets that felt oh so smooth under your palms.

No one was around to judge you under here not even your trusty treasure guide Ani. So you threw on the cape you untangled from what was left of the captain probably.  
And you glided through the water cape adorned and calm. You set a table with candles you could not light but no doubt did contribute the ambiance of the whole thing.  
When was the last time you held spoons in your hands? You chuckled to yourself from the absurdity of it all. Wait if there was a spoon there might be a knife! Those come on handy when sea weed wraps around your tail and tries to give you an eternal embrace.

This day is turning around. Maybe you could use some thing from this place after all. After you pretend get together for one. You explored the rest of the ship. You were over the moon to find books.

Thank the maker you learned how to read before turning to a mermaid. 

The books were mostly about geography and ship mechanics and a whole lotta ship logs. You were still thrilled. You didn't open them under water to prevent more damage to them. Miraculously they were stacked in a sturdy chest and only became wet once you opened them. 

Swimming back up with a knife and the books. You heard Ani chirp wildly upon your return. Demanding to share your findings with her. Swimming to the cave like space created by the rocky shore. You bagan to inspect your loot out of water. Reading the first words of your book brought tears in your eyes. Swimming and exploring the deep waters was fun, but you could do it for so long before you have seen it all, and you had seen it all.

Ani was disappointed to see you return with no food, but quickly forgot when she saw the shiny knife. Toying and pecking at it while you read and read and read until you could read no more. So you fell asleep in the cave.

Waking up to sun rays in your face caused some panic, but what had you dry heaving was feeling Ani peck your...toes...toes attached to feet. Actual real human feet.  
They were so perfect and smooth obviously products of not being used for 15 years. And Gods you wanted to change that. So you stood up. Feeling the sting caused by sharp rocks under your toes was a sensation You never thought you would miss.

Ani was just as confused as you. Not sparing a moment of silence probably disappointed that her magical friend is a stinky regular human. You wanted to jump but your legs where wobbling while standing and you did not want to have a failed jump attempt on a bed of sharp rocks. 

As it usually goes, glee turned into panic. There is no way out of this place by land. How did this even happen? Did your magic run out? How would you get out? Even though swimming as a human had failed you long ago, it was once again your only life line. Taking uncertain steps towards the opening you could taste the salt water better.  
Mustering up all the faith in the world in your legs, you jumped into the water.

One, two, three experimental kicks later, and your feet turned into fins.You whole body going into Mer-mode.  
Oh...so you go back to human if you're dry.  
All your life time in the sea you were too afraid to be seen; never straying away from the sea. You had learned your lesson about leaving your safety zone.

Not even having a moment to dwell on lost time you were happy you finally found out. This meant even for a brief while you could talk to people. You could run and jump like you did long ago. This was all too thrilling. Over the next months you poured over your books with your new ability in mind. You knew most things about ships now and the price of different cargo from fifty years ago. Both of equal importance to you.

Reading the travel logs was the most exciting thing. Yes, they were bland, vacant of a single adjective. But that only gave your creativity room to fill in the gaps. What could have possibly happened in between Jakuu to Hapes for number of staff to double? 

Fortunately the most thrilling part was written out for you. The most thrilling being the raids. Raids done by pirates were recorded in detail. Your imagination came nowhere near the chaos recorded here. The men lost, the injuries, the damage to the ship and financial loss. It was all recorded here vividly.

The older records spoke of a brutal Captain Vader and his ship made entirely of obsidian wood. They wrote with surprising detail about this infamous ship. This must have been to give the description to some authority. 

But it seemed to be futile, because Vader would just pop up a few pages later. Re-emerging bigger and most certainly more ruthless. 

You even found yourself rooting for the little shit.

Until it stopped.

There were still raids, but no more Vader. No more words obviously written with shaking hands. No one like him. Maybe he died. He was defiantly dead by now it had been over 50 years, but you couldn't help dreaming about sailing the sea in the Executar. So fearsome, so grand. 

One shining piece of information extracted from the books stuck out to you. There was carnival happening in the bay city nearby. It was noted as a great business opportunity to sell booze. Judging by their choice of Caf beans, these poor bastards where either illiterate or stubborn. One of those killed them at end.

Meeting your lady friend in the sky every time she was full had helped you keep track of time. It was actually one of the reasons you hadn't lost your sanity. 

By the end of the week you were a woman with a plan. 

You had found a flowy white shirt that brushed against the back of your knees probably someone's sleep shirt, someone tall and big. There was also a red scarf and a pair of loose fitting pants.  
You would just show up. Look around. The book said there will be music, and a lot of people coming to town from all over to celebrate. So you would fit right in with the other tourist.  
You had even found a little escape heaven to sleep in near the town for the night before. This way you could dry off completely. Get your legs back and take those new legs for a walk around town. Simmering with excitement you could not wait to put your plan in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey just fyi:  
> Kylo will be here on chapter 3!
> 
> Also I'm doing this alone and with dyslexia so if you see any errors let me know!


	3. The Man, The Myth, The Legend

On the other side of the ocean, there was the man who no one wanted to name. A shadow. A threat to anyone who dared cross a body of water larger than a pond. And he was seething in pure unadulterated rage. 

Nine months. Nine long months in the belly of the dark sea.   
Just making out alive was the stuff of legends for regular men.   
But Kylo Ren was no regular man. He was a legend to his own right, mythical some would argue.

Not a sea he had not crossed. Not a battle he had not won. But that did not matter in the slightest.   
What did matter, ache, burn even in all corners of his mind was that he had spent the last five years in pursuit of a treasure nowhere to be found. 

He was certain today was the day he would be rewarded for his unwavering pursuits.  
It had all gotten into his head. He thought if there was one man destined to find the" Moon's Offering" it would be him, but it looks like he is not special enough for the treasure.   
Not powerful enough. Not worthy in the slightest. 

He had to stop that train of thought before he went on a killing spree. It would happen when he was younger, but these days he liked to pride himself on being above that.   
Not above killing people, of course not. However, above killing them without a lucrative reason? Probably.

He had climbed up to that cave; sitting so high in the mountain he felt like he was brushing cheeks with the heavens.  
A sense of finality had filled him. 

Doing the one thing Vader failed to do before him. This treasure was meant to solidify his legacy. It would make his reputation immune to any challenge.

Finally wearing a crown all to himself.  
No pass downs. No stepping in his grandfathers footsteps. No more living in the shadow of his greatness.

Everyone would know that if there ever was a king...no, an emperor among thieves, it was no other than the mighty Kylo Ren.  
Calling his men "Knights" from early on was meant to send that message loud and clear. 

Finally they entered the cave.Torches lit; softly lighting up the contours of their rough faces, making shadows of doom on the cave's walls. 

And then...

You know when you're rushing down a flight of stairs, and you're so certain your next step will be met with another step, but it doesn't. So here you are in between heavens and earth panic filling up your gut?

Yeah, it felt like that.

The rug had been pulled out from under him, and it was a new sensation.

In place of his very well deserved prize he had found yet another map.   
That was infuriating on its own. 

However, what had Kylo grinding his teeth together ,tasting hints of blood, was that the said map was...blank.

Blank like the list of his good deeds. Blank like what goes on in a nobleman's head when he strips him of all possessions including his last wavering breath.  
And Kylo did not like blank. His body illustrated with black and red ink could prove that perfectly.

Simmering, Kylo paced his dock. 

He felt like even the ship was mocking him. Claiming this ship had meant so much to him. It was like claiming his destiny, but now it sardonically smiled at him.   
Much like the smile he gives a Captain when his men have plowed through the bastard's ship and now he won't even live to tell the tale.   
That's actually how they never got caught. 

Things had changed from his grandfather's day. Town's had guards now. Guards had ships. And that meant Kylo had a lot of trouble if someone went around tavern to tavern gossiping about his favorite activities. 

His grandfather loved it though. He would always leave a few behind to tell the tale of Vader. 

Kylo still had his share of bad reputation even with no witnesses. 

People sometimes recognized the silhouette of the infamous ship. Rubbing their eyes once or twice they made sure their sight was not deceiving them that this was not a trick of light. The terror inducing Executor was still sailing after all these years.

The Knights of Ren were another piece of proof that he existed .  
They would show up claim and conquer in his name with enough violence that was hard to forget.  
But the word about Kylo Ren was too few and far between for any for any navy force to be on their tail.

This ambiguity had also given them the aura of an urban legend.  
People started bar fights over their existence which was very amusing.

Especially the time Vic started one claiming that: "Kylo Ren and his Knights were nothing more than an excuse for sailors who didn't know how to read maps; unable to make good on their promise and deliver their cargo."  
At that moment they were planning a big raid form the very town they were in, and needed to not exist for a few dark and silent hours to do their bidding.

Vic was so harrowing that people were ready to claim that night was day with complete conviction if denying it meant going against him.   
One of the only people to tower over Kylo, he possessed the same aura of danger to the untrained eye. Surprisingly he was the voice of reason on the ship more times than Kylo could count.

Maybe this groundedness came from what he called "dabbling in the occult". Kylo personally could channel some dark energy into his intents, but Vic could read runes and decipher ancient tongues. 

His right hand man was a valuable asset to have. But when he told him the meaning of the hymn echoing in their heads and written on the walls of the cave, a part of him wanted to run his red steel blade through him. Nothing personal of course.

It was an intricate text. Ancient and forgotten, but the gist boiled down to "Only a person deserving of the moon's gift could see what was on the map."  
Since they couldn't present candidates to the moon and and ask her opinion directly,that meant only a person already in the moon's favor was the key to the fortune. And that meant only a mermaid could read his map.

Ironically, beliefs about the existence of mermaids mirrored his own reputation. Both leading wondrous tales often fabricated and both being falsely blamed to cover for the shortcomings of humans.

He would be cooped up in his cabin mulling over a quick route to Coruscant all week when word would reach him saying that: ["Kylo Ren" was in fact in Naboo serving time for murdering five council men, his execution short to come.]

And some women would blame the disappearance of their husbands on mermaids. Saying they would first seduce you with their voice, and as you lean in a for a kiss drag you to the pits of the ocean and tear you apart while you're still alive and kicking.If that were true, Kylo liked their style he could not deny it.

No matter how fantastical, there is always some truth to every old wives' tale and drunken sailor's caution stories.

He couldn't vouch for three headed sea monsters, but he knew that mermaids existed.

Vic knew a lot about them saying that most of his childhood was filled stories told around the fire about mermaids living among men in disguise. 

Vader had an obsession with the creatures. When Kylo visited the Executor archives for the first time, he expected maps and directions into the inner workings of the ship.  
All he found was pages upon pages of sightings and testimonies about mermaids. There was even piles of torn out pages from different books all talking about different folklore versions of mermaids. 

He felt confused then. Thinking his old man was a fanboy of some sort. It felt almost perverted to have so many documents about one subject. No matter what it was.

Now, however, once again he saw Vader's wisdom being revealed before him . Always a step ahead his grandfather. Unlike him with his foot stuck in his ass having the map without anyone to read it. 

He wondered about how Vader could have known this, but then again he was very in tune with dark magic. Getting visions from the future regularly. 

Kylo would have these dreams too, but they were usually about matters of the heart.Which was shameful to admit. Recently he would dream of being sprawled over warm sand. Looking over softly crashing waves. His head in held in a soft lap and fingers going throw his shaggy hair; brushing over his temples once in a while, soothing him.  
You see? Absolutely shameful not very Harrowing Pirate ™. If he was fucking her, well now that could be excused.

He had been walking in straight lines, back and forth, for an hour now. He could feel the ache travelling up from the soles of his boots to his rear teeth.

He looked over at his men slaving away. A few pulling up heavy ropes, one letting out the sail. Vic shouting different orders at them as he climbed the main mast. Their lips were chapped and their hands had rope-marks on them. His men were exhausted. The last time he saw Vicrul his usual piercing gaze was hollow.  
They needed to relieve some tension before a chain of fist fights broke out, and he needed space to figure out how to find a mermaid. 

Their next destination was decided; the bay city of Ta'a Chume'Dan. With the mid-summer celebration in full force, no one would search the arriving ships.   
An opportunity Kylo would not miss.

Stepping behind the helm he filled his lungs full of salty air to bark with a booming voice:  
"PULL THE SAILS.   
A DOZEN KNOTS TO EAST.   
THE RICHES OF HAPES LONG TO BE POSSESSED AGAIN BY THE MEN OF REN."

An explosion of cheers roared through the night sky.

The Executor cut through the waves, being pulled by the invisible ropes towards destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading darlings! Don't be shy to share you thoughts or keyboard smashes down in the comments.
> 
> Also, I am beginning to make a pintrest board for this fic. Hopefully I'll share it in the next chapter.


	4. Life As You Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Visual aids:
> 
> The pintrest board I promised:
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/aryanehd/-selenophile-/
> 
> Here is the first song in the fic:  
> https://youtu.be/RbCx_x3KtKM
> 
> Here is the second one:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihbjpRJCj0Q
> 
> My advice is to open them up before you start so you can easily click over.
> 
> I saw this image, and it was just the perfect Pirate! Kylo:  
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/81838918219735651/
> 
> Ships section names:  
> https://images.app.goo.gl/8VnruHTiMipeQnXGA

Before you even opened your eyes, you began to brush you feet against each other. Feeling something explode in the pit of your stomach when you felt you toes.  
Sleeping, or in truer terms attempting to sleep, last night in was near impossible. Every two hours you would jolt awake on your own checking if your legs were back.  
Ani got so annoyed that she abandoned you on your sixth surprise inspection, opting to rest outside where you wouldn't obsess over your transforming limbs.  
You had been apart from the human world, but not long enough to forget what appearances were worth to people.  
Especially for none locals. You didn't want to look crazy and be denied food and services and most importantly human interaction.  
The concept of money had hit you over your head last minute the night before. Causing you to frantically search your sunken ship for credits.  
Which was successful. Your total fortune of five green circles and eight yellow circles make soft bell-like chirping sounds in the pocket of your pants.  
You have no idea how much they are worth. You hadn't seen that kind of currency as a child, but you hoped it would be enough for a hair brush and some food.  
Yes your priority was a hair brush. Since you became a mer-person your hair had grown past your bottom and in great volumes.  
In the water it was fine, but on land it needed to be tamed a little.  
People in Hapes valued grooming greatly . Long hair was a status symbol. So a hairbrush was one of the few items you missed from you past life.  
Garb adorned, you controlled your hair with the scarf in milkmaid fashion, and revealed the finishing look to Ani who was waiting for you outside. Stepping out you expected continues squeals, but Ani just looked you up and down blinking and flew in the town's direction.  
"Hey! That's mean."  
You knew that you were wearing a thirty year old men's sleep shirt. You weren't delusional about that, but expected more support from your only friend.  
She did not care about your hurt feeling flying away.  
You followed her in moderate speed at first, but the further you walked the faster your pace become.  
Feeling your leg muscles contract, your weight on the soles of your feet leaving imprints in the sand; it was all too much you couldn't stop yourself from running along the coast surpassing Ani in the sky.  
You ran until your lungs burned. Laying under the sun to catch your breath between the violent rise and fall of your chest you felt a shadow being casted over you.  
"Are you lost ma'am?"  
You shot up and so did your eyelids.  
Blue. Green. Red.  
The man before you wore a blue coat with green eyes and fire hair. Some sort of navy uniform.  
"Um I was just on my way to..."  
"The mid-summer festival?" he finished for you with a pitying smile. Rude.  
You nodded to affirm his guess.  
His next words were slow and clear like he was speaking to a toddler.  
"In that case you have missed the last transport , and are in fact, running in the opposite direction."  
"Oh shit. Fucking hell . I'm doomed!" You cried.  
His eyebrows met his hairline for a moment. Definitely not expecting those sequence of words.  
"Well luck has not abandoned you completely," he turned towards his carriage "...I'm heading to Ta'a Chume'Dan myself. I could give you a ride." He said with a smile empty of any warmth.  
Mermaid or human; every woman has an inner alarm that can easily pick up on the fact that a man needs something from them in exchange for a shred of human decency.  
What "thing" exactly, remained a mystery to you . But the gut feeling also let you know that it wasn't predatory. Because here you were sitting there your cleavage scantily clad and if you really were to look, you could make out your nipples.  
Yet his gaze remained uninterested.  
Well he was curious, but with the same type of curiosity school boys display while poking a dead frog with a stick.  
And if he wasn't so condescending you, could say he was handsome. The harsh reality is that beautiful people are easier to trust.

"Fine." You gave simply. Remember he still wants something we just don't know what.  
"Excellent. This way." His tone remained monotonous.  
His horses' main was brushed to perfection and kept longer than standard.  
There was a single bench in the carriage so you have to sit to his left. The back of the carriage was filled with a few chests ,books and guns. Yay, not threatening at all.  
"The name is Armitage by the way. Hux, Armitage Hux."  
" I see." , you answered your voice mirroring his past un-interest.  
"No I don't think you do. You see," he emphasized, "this is where you introduce yourself."  
you gave your name to him with a huff.  
"That's it? No last name?"  
"Yes, that's it."  
"That's it to you." you added a beat later.  
He did not look pleased but didn't press further.  
It toke everything not to stare at your legs dangling from the bench. To not stare at his was a challenge too.  
He probably is very fond of the sound of his voice, because he broke the silence again.  
And as you were entering the gates, he asked:  
"Are from Hapes?"  
You were from Hapes born and raised, but at the moment you looked like one of those free spirited people without a home.  
You opened your mouth to answer, but once again he beat you to it.  
"Of course you aren't." He seemed to be amused at his own foolishness but continued "Well in Hapes we have councils..." he worded each syllable out again.  
As if you were too simple to catch the words if he spoke normally.  
"and members of this council such as I," his chest filled with pride, "have certain dress codes..."  
"But you're a navy man." you cut him off.  
He looked offended. Attempting to finish his sentence or defend himself. You really don't know which one because you interrupted him again.  
"Members of the armed forces cannot hold a chair in the Hapan council."  
He was taken aback by your knowledge. Taking several moments of silence to restore the small amount of ego he lost and then said shortly and clearly.  
"As admiral, I am requested at times."  
He toke another breath his vigor now completely restored "Long story short, there is a dress code. Abiding it well is a great way to gain status."  
Another breath. "Now, how much to get those locks of your hand or head if you will?" as always pared with an insincere smile.  
"Ding, ding, ding, ding! Bullseye." Your inner alarm sang. So that's what he wanted. A wig.  
"My hair is not for sale."  
"Oh come on, you're meeting someone already for it aren't you? That's why you're in town. Is it Pryde? I bet it's his balled ass. Whatever he promised you, I will pay double."  
The carriage came to a stop.  
"I really don't know who you're talking about..." You were getting nervous.  
"Sure you don't." He mocked. "This is you and...here." He dug out a card from inside his coat and handed it to you "For when you wise up."  
It contained his name, address and rank.  
"Sure dude , whatever..." You mumbled while hurrying out of the carriage. This guy needed to chill about hair.  
"Ma'am."He tipped his hat to you and rode off.  
Asshole.  
The fact that now you knew a person that you could dislike was exciting.

You pocketed the card and walked on the cobble stone street. Everywhere was decorated with silver and gold paper lotus flowers. Some shops even painted mermaids and sea dragons on their glass doors and windows.  
It felt oddly soothing seeing the decoration and the people moving around with boxes in their hands. It was just divine.  
Soon you found the market and that was the real deal. You had so many samples of sweets and ciders in little glasses that you were going to throw up. 

Yes, people stared a little. But you guessed it was your choice of attire or your apparently very valuable hair.

Speaking of your valuable hair, a vendor was advertising having "The perfect hairbrush for any hair type."

And they looked more than pleased to not only help you pick one out, but to help you style your hair.

After their kindness, you put a gold credit in their hand. 

To which they answered with a confused smile. It was all fine and well though, because her display of the uses of the brushed on your hair made a line of people waiting to purchase something from her.  
Sitting on the edge of a fountain you groaned at yourself and at the plate on your lap.  
"Hey stranger." you coed at her and offered her your plate which she was happy to relieve you from.  
The next half an hour you just sat there looking at the people, and listening to the faint music playing from a street you passed not long ago. They were dancing hand in hand in fast circle chains. In every couple of spins someone would lose balance and tap out or fall to which the spectators cheer and help them up. The last standing dancer would receive a prize, but you didn't hang around long enough to find out what.  
The sun was setting, and purple hues filled the sky. Suddenly a perfect drop of water fell on your cheek. Then another on top of your eyebrow.  
Shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT. Rain! This can't be happening. 

You saw two guys entering a place with dark French doors on the other side of the fountain. So you bee lined to it and entered.  
Unlike the welcoming atmosphere of the city so far. You felt every pupil sewn to where you stood at the door. With the rain picking up outside there was literally no going back.  
You never heard yourself sound so small. When you said:  
" d-do you have cider?"  
The tavern exploded in laughter, but at least it displayed that you were not a threat to whatever shady thing was going on here.  
"Yes. We have cider." said the bartender. The fact that it was a female voice made you a hundred times more at ease.  
The girl behind the counter had her hair sleeked back in three buns, and unlike mister asshole from morning, was very interested in your cleavage.  
Sitting behind the bar you gave your thanks to her. Everybody had gone back to their conversations. Placing a fizzling cup of cider in front of you the girl she started to make small talk with you. Extremely friendly small talk actually.  
You enjoyed it thoroughly. Now you had a person you liked. Armitage Vs. Ray. A perfectly balanced day.  
The ciders turned into ales, and the ales turned into hard liquor. And not a single credit was being transferred from your pocket to the register.  
"And what did you think of our little town?" She asked with a smile.  
Oh no she could tell? "Do I look that at of place?" you said while trying to hide your giggling face behind your hands. Yup you were pissed.  
"No, I would just remember seeing you around." She offered. Can a person wink without winking? Because you're sure it just happened.  
" I- um" you stammered cheeks glowing red masked behind the blush already put there by the alcohol.  
Poseidon's beard you have been flirting without even realizing all night.  
Rey laughed at your awkwardness, and placed her attention on the table at the back calling her over. She excused herself very politely, and for the first time tonight, left your sight.  
In parallel for the first time fifteen years, you met your reflection; on the strip of mirror set behind the bar.  
You were shocked at first. The only proof that you were the person in the mirror was your flimsy shirt and the red scarf you had on. The vague self image you possessed came from the image you caught on still waters. You had the general idea, but nothing like this. And now you could see that maybe some were not staring because of the clothes. Ray certainly wasn't.  
And it felt good to know you not only existed, but that people liked the fact that you did.

You were still captivated with your own image. When the door slammed open with a giant boot. This time all the bar patrons did everything they could not to look at the men in the threshold. Looking at the abstract wood marks on the tables and into the bottom of their cups.  
You didn't look back either. Frozen you could see everything in the mirror in front of you.  
Six men in hoods. Their energy spread like toxic fog in the tavern making it hard to breath. They sat at a table; except for one the tallest one who was now walking behind the bar.  
You heard the floor boards whine under his slow heavy steps. Without a word he toke five bottles rum to his companions. By now, people had collected their courage to look at the shadow men.  
"Is there a problem gentlemen?" The rum badger asked in a gruff voice and his answer was dead silence.  
"Good." A beat passed .  
"What about you lady?"  
You shook your head no without turning from the mirror. You knew he was observing you through it.  
"Delightful." his tone was filled with pretend glee.  
Choosing to toy with you further he said "You wouldn't mind if we joined you then."  
He did not need an answer for that one; as the guys filled all of the other seats around you boxing you in. You would be shaking if the alcohol in your system hadn't made you numb. You were discovering you were a happy drunk. Who knew?  
Initially, they talked and talked about ships and swords and women, and you were just sandwiched between these men .Drinking from the cup the man on your right, Victor?, never stopped filling with rum.  
But then they started to talk about ship foremasts and how they are unnecessary and you were certain they were idiots.  
Dangerous idiots but still.

"How will you use a derrick without a foremast geniuses? You need a derrick to load your cargo."  
You could hear the wind go "woosh" as their necks turned to you.  
"Obviouslyyy ...we can carry themmm." he slurred the others humming with agreement .Yup this one was drunk.  
"You can't carry that-"  
They were already flexing and telling tales of their great strength. One doing push-ups on the sticky tavern floor.  
Oh so all of them were drunk, but so were you so no judging. Soon there was a push-up and handstand contest happening. Some other patrons joined in only to be beaten by the dark figures.  
"Our cargo does not need to be craned in lady."  
Vicky was it? whispered to you.  
You shot him a confused look and he leaned in your ear. Like five year olds sharing tales of mischief. You wondered if he was going to make you pinky promise that you wouldn't tell later.  
"For example, *hiccup* our next shipment is a siren."  
"A siren?" You asked in a hushed tone.  
"Siren, sea-maid, mermaid. Whatever you call it. My captain wants one."  
Now that made you sober up. You were in so much trouble. You felt your heart on your tongue.  
A booming cheer made you break your gaze, and watch as the last man remaining in the handstand got up and shook hands with the other contestants.  
"Where is the fucking music in this place?" One of the cloaked men asked Rey. Who had been shooting you the most worried glances all night. Making sure the guys kept their hands to themselves.  
"They played all morning for the festival. They retired for the night."  
"I have a guitar," she pointed at the wall, "but no one to play."  
Boo's and groans could be heard all around. Fists being slammed on tables. Where these bone-heads going to trash this place, because there was no music?  
Rey was getting agitated.  
"I can play." a young man quipped.  
"Finn you don't need to do this." Ray told him.  
Vic turned to you "And you will sing won't you?"  
"Me? oh no I'm not good...," looking over to Rey's frantic eyes, "I'll give it a shot though."  
Cheers boomed again.  
These mood swings were making you nauseous.  
Soon you were at the center, circled by all the bar-goers, the Finn guy on your side sat on stool.  
So there is one song you both know. and of course it turned out to be about you most loving friend the moon.

Somber simple notes rang through the air and with a breath you sang the first lines with closed eyes. You had never sang to a human audience before so you did not know what to expect.  
Once you peeked, you saw them in absolute trance. No one so much as blinked while you were singing. It made you feel powerful. Every lyric felt like a spell and it was caste right on their very soul.  
Nailed to their spot, even Finn would not look back at his instrument risking mistakes.  
You felt yourself toying with people and actually enjoying it; singing a few bars to Rey seeing the tips of her ears go red. You picked your next victim, causing them to gulp visibly. As the song neared its end you, held you head high sealing your charm with your final words.  
Vicrul had to will his gaze away to Beck who was still very much infatuated. Once he recovered, his eye searched Vic's they knew what they had to do. Signaling the other four. They all made a wall around the already formed crowed.  
This was a merchants' bar and many were gamblers. They felt greed take over their judgment. When everyone was in position The put their guns or swords behind the unsuspecting men and dug the nose of their weapon in their spine sending a clear message.  
Vic finally said "Okay gentlemen it has been fun. Hand over the credits." The air had become thicker than it ever was that night. The men silently reached into their coats and pockets. At the middle of the circle you reached into your pocket too. Holding your credits in one fist you put it out for one of the men to take.  
"Where did you get these?"  
"s-someone gave it to me."  
"These credits date back to the times of the empire. Your friend was either a thief or a ghost." Beck joked.  
You had nothing to answer that with.  
Vic and the other guys felt alive again. This was enough fun to reminisce on for a month, and the credits were more than enough to finance any activity they would want to partake in. But that was just them. 

There was another man on board who had to be sated. Vic was impulsive and stupid enough to be a guy, but he did have the gift of foresight.  
This girl might be the closest thing to mermaid they could find in years. He would have her sing for the Captain and then drop you off a in a few towns over.  
Vic caged you in "You will remain in our company lady."  
Hooking his arm with yours they all, but stormed off into the night.  
You hadn't realized how long you were in bar for. It was so dark that you knew dawn was not far behind.  
Vic had wrapped you in his cloak. His face was more intimidating then what you had imagined. It made covering it looked like a mercy.  
Much like the rest of your clothes you were lost in the new garment. Your vision going dark. You tried fighting his hold but he would just assure you that it would be over soon and that they will let you go eventually.  
None of those were soothing to you. You kept thrashing against him and at some point you went limp. This felt like the night you were going to drown. Once again stepping into the forbidden had brought you hear. It made your heart ache.  
You could feel your feet being dragged against the ground. The scent of salt water was getting stronger and stronger. You just wanted to jump in the water and disappear but knew that that would just put you in more danger.  
Now you were just some singer girl. That would make you the object of their desire. And that was a position you wanted to avoid with these men.  
The walk was long and you cried silent tears all the way. Feeling sand under your feet made you know that the ship could not be far behind.  
You walked up the wooden ramp. Not even being able to cherish feeling the new texture.  
When your makeshift blindfold was taken off, you could barely breath. Your body became hollow of air. You swore you felt your blood freeze and the hairs on the back of your neck stood in full attention.

You did not need to be told to know. The obsidian wood gave it away. The crimson red of the deck with a giant helm sticking out. It was just so enormous to be anything else. It looked like a black floating fortress. It was as the vivid description made it to be; absolutely horrifying.  
You were on Vader's Executor. There was no denying it.  
Sometimes the smartest thing to do is to play naive. So you did not say a word, you just stood there.  
The men there were no longer loud and brazen. They were quite standing in line with erect spines almost cowering in thought of what was to come. Vic stood at the beginning of the line; still holding your bicep in an unforgiving grip.  
You knew who they were waiting for. Their captain liked a dramatic entrance apparently.  
From your left you could hear someone emerging from the cabins. Every step was forceful and precise and it made the knot in your stomach a tighten a tiny bit more.  
You didn't dare to look. In his last sightings the last captain of this ship had lost his humanity to greed; he is face had become pale and deformed and his voice box was damaged beyond repair. Some said it was dark magic gone wrong.  
You kept starring into an invisible dot in the twilight sky. With the sun rising and the moon gone, you felt even more helpless.  
A gloved hand held your jaw tightly, forcing your freshly teary gaze to meet one of burning gold.  
Your panic doubled. The man in front of you was not tall. He was towering; the back of your neck whined by just looking at him from where he held you. The obsidian of this ship came nothing close the aura around him, to the dark abyss in his gaze and to the waves brushing his shoulders. Carved out of marble his face belonged to a figure made by the old masters. You could not decide if the inspiration was mirroring Lucifer or Adonis.  
Once refusing to look now you could not look away.  
"What have you brought me Vicrul?" he asked his voice deep and steady. Like a viper in the grass waiting to attack. It traveled down to your spine.  
"Entertainment, Captain."  
Still holding you face, whipped your jaw around inspecting all sides as he casually asked:  
"And how is it going to amuse me?"  
"However you wish sir," your stomach dropped, "but her gift mostly resides in singing."  
"Hmm." was all he said before he let go of your face; putting a little push into it making you lose balance.  
He walked back to the helm. Vicrul pushed you in the same direction. The Captain sat back on his huge black throne making it look average.  
One again in a circle of men, you tried to gain your courage to sing. Long gone the effects of liquid courage in your system.  
Again with shaky breaths and closed eyes you started to sing:  
" Upon one summer's morning  
I carefully did stray  
Down by the Walls of Wapping  
Where I met a sailor gay"  
As the first lines fell from your lips, you could feel yourself regain your calm.  
You put intention in your next lines. You wanted to win the Captain's empathy  
"My heart is pierced by Cupid  
I disdain all glittering gold  
There is nothing can console me  
But my jolly sailor bold"  
You opened you eyes to make the next lines cast a stronger enchantment.  
Finally, making willing and direct eye contact you sang to the Captain:  
"His hair it hangs in ringlets  
His eyes as black as coal  
My happiness attend him  
Wherever he may go

From Tower Hill to Blackwall  
I'll wander, weep and moan  
All for my jolly sailor  
Until he sails home"

As you sang the last lines, early morning light softly shined on the ship making its splendor twice as breath taking. You thought the same could be said about the Captain.  
The once piercing gold in his dark gaze had become liquid. His chest moved in patient waves.  
For the first time since boarding this ship the knot in your stomach untwisted. Letting two silent tears of acceptance fall.  
The Captain looked intoxicated. His men were unfamiliar with a calm Ren, so no one dared to break the silence.  
And they didn't have to.  
The sound of canons going off broke the moment into a thousand pieces. Kylo flew of his throne. Looking in the direction the sound.  
The Hapan navy in broad day light. Shit.  
"Which one of you imbeciles made a scene?" he shouted at his men. No one wanted answer that, and he didn't allow them.  
"Prepare for departure we're going East..."  
The Captain was shouting orders left and right. Apparently the shadow men were not the only crew which made sense for a ship of this size. It's like the Executor had its own little army. All dressed in white shirts and brown pants.  
"Maybe they're here for you..." the Captain addressed you directly for the first time. And it made you absolutely burn.  
"Maybe you led them here. A song bird as spy," he tuts at you, "they're getting better I would give them that."  
Now he was cornering you and you were nearing the edge of the ship.  
You looked back for a split second nothing but crashing water. Maybe this was your way out.  
But no he toke a fist full of your shirt collar bringing you simultaneously close to his face and stepping closer to the edge so you were hanging over the water.  
Threatening you he asked "Are you going to tell the truth little girl or," he dangled you a little over the water "or are you going to devoured by the ocean like a forgotten memory?"  
Putting everything you had in your gaze you begged him to believe you. "I didn't have anything to do with this sir. Please I swear."  
"We lost them Captain." someone shouted form the other side of the ship.  
The Captain broke his gaze from you bringing you back in the ship.  
"We'll see about that later. I have wasted enough breath on you for today."  
Carrying you again, he walked over to the helm.  
Pulling on a rope he exposed an opening through the floor to a small room.  
Physically dragging you and placing you in it.  
"You can't do this to me!" you screamed vision teary again.  
A pause mid closing the door the Captain looked at you and simply said:  
"Watch me."  
* Bang!*, slammed shut.  
Now you were confined in a small room. Dim. The ceiling so low you could barely stand. More of a hole than a room.  
Your only possessions ; a bed and a window.  
The "room" was placed at the very back of the ship; so the said window opened to whatever the ship left behind. Looking outside you were trying to make peace with the fact that life as you knew it might be one of those things left behind forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song is Greek, and I don't speak Greek. But it just sounds like a song mermaids would vibe with.
> 
> Don't forget to comment your thoughts.
> 
> My left hand is numb from writing this in one go. lol.💀 💀 💀


	5. How To Stay Alive On The Executor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found a better ship diagram for the terminology:  
> https://images.app.goo.gl/12basKuD3Fi9Hf219

Your hands had curled into fists a few hours ago and they have been banging on every surface in this ''room" ever since. 

You could hear his boots right above you head. Intentional or not, the thought of him standing there under the sun and fresh air made you hate him. 

Hunger was another issue. 

There was some water in the room, but they refused to feed you. 

You heard a different pattern of walking approach the opening above you head, the aroma of food filling the space. 

"Take that away. I won't reward her for being a brat." his muffled voice rang.

Just like that you were left to starve. Anger would turn into helplessness with a side of tears and then anger again. You went through the same three emotions until you passed out.

Curled up to a fetal position in the bed, you found crying and sleeping at the same time quite difficult. 

There was no source of light in the room at night. 

So when the sun went down you, would be swimming in darkness for the next twelve hours. 

Again, you did not know if this was intentional, or just a terrible circumstance. But it left an effect on you.

In the midst of you pity party under your covers, you felt exposed from the make shit shelter you made.

Your eyes burned trying to adjust to the new light. 

In between harsh blinks you felt your heart beat faster. The hairs in the back of your neck standing up, because you could make out the silhouette of a man at the edge of your bed.

A piece of your sheets crumbled in one hand exposing you to the elements. Namely the bone chilling air of the night.

You stomach fell further ,if that was even possible, when your gaze set on a very agitated Captain Ren.

His lips were set in a straight line, but the quick heaving of his lungs gave away his anger.

"Will you shut up? Your whining is keeping me awake."

Still in shock. you blinked once then twice to let the image before you register.

He was framed in a halo of golden light. Craning your neck you could see that the wall paralleled to the window was in fact an accordion wall connecting your room to...the Captain's cabin.

This area must have been an extra storage place turned into "guest room".

With vicinity to the Captain's cabin it didn't take a genius to guess what kind of guest would occupy this room exactly. 

However, the dust and the un-kept conditions revealed it had not been in regular use for a while.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted with a small bowl of grapes being shoved in your hands then followed by some bread.

Your tears had not stopped falling. It didn't matter anyways the room was too dark to see be embraced. 

Kylo was wearing a shirt similar to yours with abandoned suspenders at his waist; an obvious sign that the trousers were a late addition to the outfit.

Kylo shuffled from one foot to the other refusing to make eye contact. 

Looking around a bit longer he stepped into his space and came back with items you couldn't see.

Silently he placed them at the window and walked towards the magic wall.

"Wait! I'm cold..." you said voice still raw from crying all day.

"Sleep." he simply told you closing the door behind him.

Disobeying in your small way, you started chewing on your bread and shot up to check the items on the window.

An oil lamp, two candles, some ink and paper.

At least you would not be in the dark anymore.

In the morning, you worked on your calligraphy for a while.

Your handwriting skills had not developed much from when you were young due to a lack of practice. 

Your opinion on the captain had become less hostile and it would remain like that if he didn't go back to locking you up immediately.  
Standing in your usual position staring longingly at the sea, the door opened.

The Captain and his hounds were looking down at you. 

You, on the other hand, were staring daggers into Vicrul; the man responsible for your misery. 

"Well that's a lovely greeting." he joked.

You did not laugh. 

"Get out, we need you." Vic said again this time with more authority.

"I have nothing to say to you, and I will not help my kidnappers." 

You couldn't add much more to your declaration, because you were being physically dragged up and to the Captain.

"First you steal me, lock me up in a disgusting dusty hole and now you need my help?!? fuck offf!!" you shouted at the top of your lungs. The nerve of these pigs!

Kylo took a fist full of your hair forcing you to walk in his desired direction. 

Which seemed to be down; down from the deck, down under ship's first floor, the second and the third. 

You didn't know what number of floor anymore just that you were passing flights of stairs in maximum speed .

Then a harsh tug at your hair signaling you to halt.

Before you was a vast space. So grand, it could have been Noah's ark. 

Your eyes danced over the thousands of hammocks suspended from the ground. Some empty. Some occupied. All belonging to men.

"Is this more to your liking?" Kylo sneered in your ear. Hair still in his tight grip.

You shook your head "no" as much as you could with your limited range.

Thirty steps to the right, he had you at an opening. You could see the crashing ocean.

The ship was moving in full speed; the giant screw propeller making disruptions in the water.

If anyone jumped from this area of the ship, their brain would become fish food within seconds.

your heart stilled. This was a way bigger threat than the first one.

"You have been itching for me to drown you from the fist moment you stepped on my ship, haven't you?" he growled.

"Is this where you want to stay hm? Where you want your bones to lay?"

"No, please." you made out through gritted teeth.

His grip would not disappear. 

The next sentence was for you and you only:  
"Every breath you take on this ship is at my mercy. I advise you to not over invest on it. One push," he mimicked his threat by pushing you further," and you're gone."

"I- I understand." you whispered.

Then you and the men went even further down in the mighty Executor. 

In the belly of the ship gravel was going into one hole. steam coming out from another. Pipes wrapping and unwrapping around one another. Men handling intricate machines keeping the beast moving onward.

You reached a canal going into the wall.

Kylo's grip finally eased on your pretend reigns.

"What is this?" you eyed the canal with suspicion.

"It's you proving you're more than waste of space." Kylo snapped.

"Get in lady, the pipe is clogged. No one in the crew has managed to get through." Vic explained.

You send him a incredulous look. This thing was huge surely someone could get through.

"It gets more narrow as you go further." he added.

You climber in with a sigh. 

Moving on your hands and knees you were about two feet in the canal when you couldn't go any further.

"You did it yet?" Beck called out.

"Just a second!" You shouted the echo of your response making you dizzy.

Reaching with your dominant hand through the hole, you clawed at the air a few times until the tips of your sharp nails found a grip on the material clogging the canal.

Pulling with all your power you could feel your shoulder ache. You could only move your hand in a single motion to tug; back and forward. 

Sweat was forming on your brow. A few frustrated tugs and a clump of inky rope fell in front of you. 

Cringing at the sight your eyes went wild. You could smell it before you heard it. Familiar yet terrifying.

Water. 

Water was coming through the newly unclogged pipe. 

With no space to turn you were walking on all fours in backward motion, It was a matter of life and death.

If you came in contact with the water you would turn right there in the pipe at their mercy. 

Your breath came in broken and jagged strings. Anxiety filling the cavity in your stomach.  
You had no idea when you would reach the opening .

Dropping into the open you fell on the ground heavy breathing. 

It would be embarrassing to fall on your back so ungracefully in front of the Knights and their Captain, however, what was more demeaning was finding the space empty only catching a glimpse of their capes leaving the floor.

Huffing you caressed your shoulder that was definitely going to bruise. 

You bee lined out of the space not wanting to be abandoned in unknown territory. 

You finally caught up to them finding them looking over the formerly steaming machine now working quietly. 

"You did good." Vic finally acknowledged you.

Which meant nothing to you. You hadn't forgotten his part in your fate so you just nodded.

The walk to the surface was mechanical.

When you made it to the deck you expected to be escorted back your accommodations, but it never happened. 

The Captain, all mighty and dressed in black, sat on his throne; overlooking stray papers in his hand. 

Probably calculating the distance to the next destination or whatever captains do while the other men slave away.

Looking around awkwardly you finally decided to speak up.

"So...will I be directed to my "luxury abode"? your last words were drenched with sarcasm.

He didn't react to it.

"What you do is none of my concern."

He would not say it at loud, but he was giving you a morsel of your freedom for what you have done.

You were glad you could enjoy the sun and fresh air, but your mind did go back to his previous remarks about not rewarding bad behavior. It was obvious this was him rewarding the good ones. 

What was more obvious was the resemblance of his attitude towards you and the attitude you would take with a pet.

That made your blood boil, but you were not letting impulse take you back to that pit.

Looking up to the masts. You decided to fulfill your fan girl fantasy of climbing the Executors main mast. It was so staggeringly high, the view had to be divine.

You start securing a grip on the shrouds. They were slanted and hard to climb, but there was no way you were asking any of the Knights for help. 

Finally, you get your feet on the shrouds starting to climb.  
The material is even rougher on the untainted soles of your feet. 

Well untainted no more because you could tell the ropes were doing a number on them, yet you were too close to the crow's nest of the ship to give up and change direction.

Reaching the nest, you let out a laugh for the mainly to yourself feeling the wind much more strongly in this altitude. 

Here in the privacy of the blue sky above you hummed a tune to yourself. 

You started to inspect your feet there were welts rising and some bleeding on the edges of those welts, but nothing that won't heal. 

Growing pains you said to yourself while running your finger along them.

As if summoned, your terrible excuse of a friend shows up.

"Ani!" you cry to her.

She squeals around you flying in circles. Maybe you can find forgiveness for her in your heart after all.

The next hour was spent telling Ani of your sweet adventure turned sour.

From his throne Kylo looked like he was studying a parchment. 

In reality, however, he was watching you talk to....a seagull? with more animation he had seen in his entire life. To be fair, he wasn't around a lively crowed during most of it. So maybe this was how regular people spoke.

He knew they didn't talk to random birds though.

Eyes peeking over his documents occasionally he caught the sight of you bathed under golden sunlight.

You sat crossed leg your hair bouncing as you talked with your hands, and were you smiling? 

If he focused he could remember how the tresses of your hair felt in his grip. 

That was it. 

You had to go back in before he started imagining more.

"Beck, take her to her room." he barked.

You saw the man climb the mast in thrice your speed.

"Times up." he simply told you.

It broke your heart, but staying on these monsters' good side was key, remember?

You grabbed his hand and descended down much slower than your ascendance trip. 

Stepping down, you become aware of the bloody foot prints you were leaving behind.  
You hoped no one else noticed. Thankful for the already crimson deck disguising the trails.

Yes, you were back at the room, but now Ani knew where you were and you had an understanding of what would not get you killed. 

Sure the fact that it boiled down to "bend down to the Captain's every whim or become minced meat." was harrowing but it was a frame work none the less.

You brought out the only piece of luxury you had.

Your hair brush, and stated working on the knots caused by the harsh wind. Falling asleep soon after.

In the dead of night, there was a knock at your door and a then Vicrul through it without any regard for your answer to  
the knock.

He held out a pair of simple leather ankle boots to you saying:  
"Ren's orders." while rubbing his eyes.

He probably sewed the boots from some leather item no longer of use. 

You took them with a small word of gratitude. Vic left quicker than his entrance; his yawn an evidence to his lack of manners.

You held the boots to your chest cringing at the idea that your bloody steps had not gone unnoticed.

Will you be shouted at for spoiling his precious deck? Fuck.  
You did not want to be threatened again.

Once the initial self deprecation died down, you realized if he was to punish you in any way he would have done it by now. 

The shoes in your hand were a sign that not only you were safe from retribution, but also maybe just maybe... Ren was less of a monster you initially thought him to be.

You barely sleep that night. 

One: because half of your body ached from the fall.

Two: This place was still frigid, and Three: Providing you with shoes had a meaning. However vague, it did suggest that at least at the moment the Captain of the Executor was allowing you a future in which you would be outside these walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading babes!
> 
> Also I forgot to mention I see Beck as a Pirate Bucky Barnes.


	6. A Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This is the song the crew is singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2jzDa3p-JE

“The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored, 

To be rollickin' Randy Dandy-Oh”

The damn singing would not stop, neither would the violent toss of the waves. They were co-related of course; the weather was looking bleak and there was work to be done in continues hours. Thus, the mind had to be unattached from the body and from the telltale signs of a storm. Allowing vessel of flash to carry out the endless thread of demands and barked orders every thirty minutes.

The ship would move so violently to the left and right that you could see the dark abyss of the sea behind your window a few times; the result of water rising up or rather the ship sinking down you couldn’t tell at this point. 

You still felt nauseous having thrown up once already, at this moment you were thankful the Captain had not indulged you in complicated food.

The sound of their singing was becoming irritating at this point, drilling into your head. The worst the circumstances got, the louder they sang.

You could identify a few voices once in a while. Beck was the leading man apparently. Vic’s gravel unmistakable between the courses. 

You could taste it in the air. No matter how high their moral was kept, there was a storm coming, and it terrified you.

Storms were just as grave in world of submarine. They could pick fish up and deliver them on to distant lands. Key word being land. 

The locals celebrated the “fish rain”, saw it as a blessing, but it would haunt you.  
The thought of being dropped in the heart of a village kept you up in stormy nights. 

And it seemed like the experience would be just as awful in human form.  
Rivulets of water would seep through the window, terrifying you.  
It had already soaked your entire bed and you would not risk turning in to mer-form when the man on the hunt for you could barge in as he pleased. 

Speaking of barfing in, the Captain had taken upon himself to deliver your food directly.

It was very odd, since you noticed your responses were monitored.  
For example, finishing apples and leaving the salt biscuits resulted in more apples next time.  
Maybe it was all a coincidence but you had little else occupying your day to not notice.

You were sat on the wooden floor practicing your writing when the singing stopped.

Your heart stilled in your chest, however, you felt a pounding in your ears marking each passing second.

1, 2, WHOOSH  
The whole ship tilted sideways. 

You screamed; having the floor quite literally pulled out from under your feet. 

The door in your ceiling opened. An arm reaching in for you. Of course you grabbed it like a life line. 

“Please hold on to the post ma’am.” The boy shouted out you. 

He could not be older than you if not younger. Ruby red blush covered the bridge of his nose signifying his distress and his brown hair fell in curls.

If you were naïve and human, you might say he was cute.

You let your eyes look through the splashing water over to the hundreds of men pulling ropes and running from one side to another to save the ship.

Your eyes searched for the looming black figure who had abandoned his throne.

Finally stopping when they spot him on the foremast; spyglass telescope in hand, looking ahead. 

You could tell that his massive jaw was moving but you could not hear his words.

The man to his right, Rharo, one of the Knights, nodded curtly; shouting something about degrees. 

You could see the eye of the storm forming ahead and you panicked at the possibility of getting wet.

You clung to the boy next to you.

“What’s your name?” You asked shaking but without taking your eyes away from the horizon.

“Everyone calls me “Knives” ma’am.” He whispered just as quietly. Also not looking away from his impending faith.

If you were to die, you wanted to know the name of the person you were sharing your last breath with.

The Captain glided down swiftly. Speaking to his Knights that circled him. 

Every man ran in a different direction.  
Ren looked calm but there were too many cues giving away his rage; his fists curled and uncurled to no end, his jaw grinding continually. It was like he was becoming a storm in the act of facing one.

You sighed deeply, and wished for things to turn in his favor for the first time.

Unknown to you, the men in the bottom of the ship started to paddle backwards aiding the ship’s enormous engines; distancing themselves from the swirling clouds while the ropes being pulled tilted the ship in a 90 degrees angle.

All this carried the ship away from the swirling sky and harsh winds.

No one dared to move. For the next hour people worked in deafening silence. 

Weak rays of sun shined throw the now white clouds, the Executor had successfully avoided the storm.

Soon purple hues emerged, and then and only then Knives moves away making you lose your grip on his sleeve. 

“I’ll see you around ma’am.” He said over his shoulder refusing to make eye contact perhaps bashful of his display of anxiety.

The captain was walking towards his cabin under your feet in long strides.

You wanted to keep staying above the grounds, but the sheer amount of stress endured and standing for hours had taken a tole.

So you started to climb down to your room. Unable to close the lid to the cavity. 

You were met with all your “belongings” soaked. 

This was terrible. You didn’t want to cry but you couldn’t help but feel frustrated. 

Huffing a breath, swaying a strand of your hair in the air, you tried to stifle the lump in your throat. Your feet carried you to the accordion door with no control.

You brought your knuckles to it wanting to give the man behind the wall a piece of your mind, but you dropped your arm. 

What was there to say? He would answer anything with you being a burden in the first place and how you owed him your life. 

A sob broke out.

You immediately tried to return it to your mouth with your palms against your lips, but it was too late for the wall opened revealing a disheveled Captain Ren behind.

Now this was an image. His hair was semi wet, hanging in ringlets. His shirt untucked and the top half unbuttoned. His eyes sat deeper with circles underneath signifying lack of slumber, and all of this was illuminated with a candle in his right hand.

A beat of silence…

“Please Captain I’m so-“ 

“Cold. I know.” He finished for you. That seemed to be a habit for him.

Which was incorrect, because you meant to say frustrated or angry or helpless.

However, the single acknowledgement of your condition sent more tears down your cheeks.

Ren walked past you, examining the very wet room.

He leaned down over a now soaking pile of parchment you had written on.

“Is this what you were doing before the…?” He didn’t want to name it, wisely so, it was unlucky to say storm on a ship.

You only nodded not trusting your voice to speak yet.

He stood in his normal height while looking out to your beloved window.

“Well, it’s not very good.” He said regarding your hand writing.

Your sadness flickered into rage. Of course it wasn’t good!

You knew that, but the aloofness of his tone made you boil. 

An idiot could tell it wasn’t ideal. He must think you less than one to think you needed informing.

You swiped your tears away with your oversized sleeves hanging from your wrists.

You tried to make out words of defiance masking your hurt with offense; “I am -*swipe*- aware -*swipe*- of their quality thank you very mu-“ 

“Come.” He interrupted you again. Walking out of your space into his own.

You stood there for a second longer processing his command.

Taking a deep breath you walked to the opening and over the border of your spaces.

The room was dim in the edges, but the middle was bathed in the light of flames coming through an iron fireplace. 

You could make out chests and velvet clad furniture even a few carpets on the floor, but the most grand thing was the bed and its posts; almost touching the ceiling. The whole bed had drapings around it of a flowy white fabric probably to protect from flying insects when sailing in warmer waters. 

It give the Captain’s bed a regal effect on accident.

You beelined for the flames holding your hands out.

You were lost in them for a few seconds before you felt a heavy gaze on you.

The Captain looked at you with sunken eyes and you were quietly drawn to where he sat behind a desk documents almost toppling over.

He sat there with the candle now on the table illuminating the edges of his face and the parchment he was currently hovering over with an inked quill. On the single chair behind the desk.

You looked at him dumbfounded.

Both too tired for words.

He only sat back slightly bringing attention to the expanse of his thighs. You felt the back of your ears burn, but you complied.

Inching closely to him you climb his lap and placed yourself on it.

Your head brushed under his chin but neither of you commented on it.

Draping over you with his wide upper body. He placed the quill in your hands and put his hand over yours holding the form in place for you.

The image was comical. The way his palm engulfed yours. You could feel the rough texture of his palm on the back of your knuckles making your heart beat faster.

If you were cold before, it was all a memory now because you felt like one of the flames dancing in the fireplace.

He tilted his head to the side allowing him to look over your shoulder; hands still grasping yours.

The hold maintained for a second or two as if he was pondering something. His next words exposed this to be correct.

“Your name songbird.” He said quietly and wistfully as if he was talking in his sleep.

He couldn’t believe it himself, that through all this time and all of the titles he had given you in the privacy of his own mind, none of them came from you.

They were all inspired by his own mind. A soft degree of shame engulfed him. He had become so consumed with this peasant singing girl that he could call her by a dozen different names without knowing the real one.

Speaking of being consumed, his brain could not fathom this vicinity.

What had made him so bold, he did not know. But it was so severe and so strong that he could not recall what action led to the next to result in you sitting on his lap. 

Maybe that was exactly why his memory betrayed him or it was the fatigue of dodging a storm for six hours.

He did not care. For right now all he could think about was how easily you were boxed in his embrace and how soft your hands felt in his grasp not to mention the occasional brush of your ethereal hair to his right cheek.

Mustering up some courage with a shaky breath you uttered your name.

Rolling the quill in your fingers like a puppet he repeated the moniker.

You hated how enchanting it sounded in his deep voice; so foreign yet so familiar, embodying déjà vu.

He played you a bit more, a string of Y/ns rolling of his tongue and directly into your ear making it go red in color. 

You were thankful the dimness that saved you some dignity.

You felt his breath on the junction of your shoulder as he sighed and moved your hand swiftly to the ink pot making it sing for him with a crisp “ding”. 

He went to the parchment, schooling your hands to write the first letter of your name in the most beautiful swirl you had ever seen. 

Then the second letter and the third. Until your name was laid before you in impeccable shape.

He started anew on the next line. 

With every syllable his touch would lighten leaving you with a phantom hold on the fourth line. 

Finally he let go, but kept his hand close enough to provide reassurance.

You were on your own, tasked to replicate the perfect past rows. 

In normal circumstances, you would be anxious but this whole day felt like an outer body experience, and your current position was too much not to be set in the realm of fantasy.

Actually you had decided that this was a dream from the first moment his frame enveloped yours, so you let your hands float on the parchment almost feeling like it was without autonomy; letting your newly acquired muscle memory guide you.

A few flicks here and there and viola, your name.

The lines were less confident that the past ones, but there was something distinct about them. Setting them apart.

You can copy form but an original essence authentic to the soul of the wilder of the pen will always creep through. That was the beauty of calligraphy, and your written form of your name was so obviously yours, it made you happy.

A buzzing silence filled the cabin.

So serene that you could feel the gentle exhales of the man behind you. You mostly felt them before you heard them; his chest filling behind you followed by gentle streams brushing the side of your face and neck. Your breath had slowed down considerably also.

Feeling the silence thicken, you leaned back to him more rushed than intended. Meeting his hard chest with a faint “oomf”.

You stilled on panic now completely in his burning embrace, your eyes wide and eyebrows knitting slightly expecting retribution, but you were only met with a golden hue.

One you remembered from your first night on board, when you sang for your life in front of the Knights and their leash.

Kylo was very much enchanted. He had never felt so dazed without the aid of a few liquor bottles. 

His mind usually ran in circles, his jaw was usually locked teeth pushing down on each other harshly. 

But all he could name this moment as was “in trance”.  
He followed the flicker of the candle flame in your irises like his life depended on it.

In a split moment of self-awareness, he broke his gaze hurriedly trying to find something less enchanting to look at. His eyes sought your lips in desperation. That sent him into even more panic, because the contours were beyond inviting in candle light; practically begging him to brush them with his own. 

His escape had back fired so he retrieved to your eyes only to find them soften and take a shy glance at his own mouth. Oh no, this is torture.

Was that his heart beating so fast or yours? 

You could see him schooling his gaze attempting to make it harden artificially. No! Whatever this moment was you did not like it slipping away.

You took a leap of faith slightly leaning in…

*KNOCK, KNOCK,KNOCK*

“CAPTAIN THERE IS AN IMPERIAL SHIP ON OUR TAIL.” Knives called out from behind the main entrance.

Both your heads shot for the source.

The Captain practically carried you off him. 

Collecting his hat he was heading for the door in seconds.

He paused in the threshold shooting over his shoulder in a tone made of ice.

“Take the canapé.” And left you. 

You felt the initial cold creep back into your bones. Suddenly aware of the state of your clothes, you shed them to dry in front of the fireplace. 

Crouching into a ball on the velvet piece of furniture you cursed your stupidity, hoping Ren would not mention it the interaction in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading babes!
> 
> Also just fyi I see Knives as Timothee Chalamet.


	7. Dues Pascit Corvos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! So excited for this one, tell me what you think!

Waking up still in nude to an awkward Knives was not intentional. 

It seemed that after crying yourself to sleep you had given in to the warmth of the roaring flames, and failed to desire a second time that night by passing out on the couch.

Knives was constantly shifting his weight from one foot to the other, eyes searching the ceiling for you to get dressed.

He took this time to inform you that there were working on your “room”, but he had no answer for when it would be finished.

Boots on, you tried to manage your hair. Your hair brush was still wet from the storm. Knives gingerly reached out asking for permission that you allowed. He took a section near each ear and braided them in the middle in a fish tail style. You thanked him quietly.

Hair issues resolved, you were led outside by Knives. 

“We are going to learn how to tie knots.” He said with a cheerful undertone.

You lifted an eyebrow.

“Well… you are learning, but I-“Knives tried to finish stammering.

Picking up the Captain’s bad habit you cut him, “I don’t care as long as I get out here.”

He nodded acceptingly showing you the door.

It was stupid. Everyday Knives would show up with a new task for you. Sometimes you would go to a Knight or the other heads on the ship to walk you through what you assume was their personal specialty.

Oh, and there was bitch work too. You had spent a week peeling potatoes with the kitchen staff. If there would be another day of that, you would peel Knives’ skin off rather than the spuds.  
How could humans spend their life time doing the same repetitive task?

Life in the sea mean endless exploring. Sure it was lonely, but it wasn’t like you were enjoying the luxury of good company on this ship.

Knives did try to make that happen, and sometimes just sometimes, you felt bad for not laughing at his jokes.

A few chuckles had escaped regardless of your efforts, and you hate-loved how they encouraged him to become more loud and animated.

When was the last time Knives had spoken to a person with a soul? He couldn’t recall, and the fact that it was a girl made it even rarer. 

He wasn’t allowed to go down “exploring” like the Knights or some officers had. He didn’t even have a family to take leave to visit.

All he was, was nimble and light; perfect to keep a look out from the crow’s nest at most times, and when he wasn’t there, he was between the gears of this machine oiling and pushing things into place. Life on the Executor was difficult, but promising.

Beck would sometimes joke about how he is paying his dues in Knighthood. 

That was the pitch Vic gave him when he was only fifteen, a fisher’s assistance at the bay.  
He was good with a blade. Could cut and gut a mature tuna in three minutes, which had caught Beck’s attention.

It was only after he boarded that he realized his position was opened because the predecessor was caught stealing from the newly acquired loot. Five rubies in his hammock and a sapphire under his tongue.

The work was unforgiving, but he was young and could adapt, that didn’t change the grimness of the whole thing. 

He had cried in an obscure corner of the crow’s nest the first night, regretting his decision. Tears had stilled when he felt someone watching him. 

It was ominous, the way the figure had managed to climb so high so silently. Knives slowly removed his face from his palms.

The man was facing away from the light, his features hidden in the moonless night, but when he spoke he knew exactly who it was. Too scared to acknowledge his status he tried to control the sobs.

‘’The first night is always the hardest,” he searched his pocket for something, “you must let the past die. This is a blessing. Reinvent yourself.” He finished while placing a blade in Knives’ hand and shook it, blade held in between their joint palms.

“I look forward to this.” The Captain offered simply as he was already halfway down shrouds.  
Shaking out of his trance Knives finally answered, “So do I, Sir.” Way too late and way too loud for the dead of the night.

And now after slaving away for years he had been given a break. “Keep your eyes on the girl Knives.” Short and simple, and he was not going to fuck this up. 

You were suspicious of this whole ‘’crash-course on the Executor’’ ordeal that was going on. One minute you weren’t allowed outside, and now they were telling you where they did their laundry.

Not to mention your dictations. Yes, you heard it. Every night you to climb the nest for Knives to teach and quiz you on spelling and penmanship.  
The source material consisted of stray parchment filled with Ren’s handwriting. It was so boring because they were mostly navigation and ship vocabulary, and those were not the words you were interested in writing.  
Knives had also made you learn how to write “Knives and Y/N friends forever”; transcribing a line it was used as punishment every time you made a mistake.  
You might have noticed how kind your new friend really was if you weren’t plagued by the thoughts of your equally new roommate. Him being late to bed and early to rise, you felt like you were sharing the cabin with a ghost.

Well you did caught him once, and what a catch it was. You woke up from the couch to the sound of water being moved around. Peeking with one eye to assess the situation without scaring sleep away; you were electrified when your sight met coiled webs of tangling and untangling marble in front of you. 

Well…in front of the fire place, but your couch bed thing was right across and not that far, yet far enough to accommodate a wooden tub big enough for the Captain.

His profile was something to behold and he was rubbing a wash cloth over his broad shoulders then down in a line to meet his slightly bended knee.  
His black mane was damp and unkempt and his inked topless skin was mesmerizing so much that you didn’t realize, that you had been discover until he cleared his throat.  
Your eyes shot up to meet his very cool ones; almost drooping due to sleep.

“I…I will have warm water brought to you in the morning…” He said, as if he was bribing you for privacy.  
You got the massage and rolled away as he too changed position; now his back facing you.

Once again, his tattoos shouted out to you “Dues Pascit Corvos”, God Feeds the Ravens, it said on his back in thick gothic style within the space between two protruding shoulders blades. 

Facing the back of the furniture completely, now you couldn’t shake the familiarity of the sentence. In the limbo between wakefulness and slumber you relieved the time you heard the old text; a priest stands over the crowed in his robes he has short graying hair and sunken blue eyes, so devoid of thrill and spirit they look transparent. He is reciting the eulogy for the the total of one funeral you attended as a human child.

“And I saw an angel standing in the sun; and he cried with a loud voice, saying to all the fowls that fly in the midst of heaven, Come and gather yourselves together unto the supper of the great God;  
That ye may eat the flesh of kings, and the flesh of captains, and the flesh of mighty men, and the flesh of horses, and of them that sit on them, and the flesh of all men, both free and bond, both small and great.”  
By that the priest meant to remind the crowed that death was for all and imminent.

Yet in this context was Kylo a mere man, a Captain; like all men destined to meet the end a be feasted by the Ravens, or the Raven; being the agent of fate by feasting on his fallen enemies knowing in his heart that he is their heaven appointed angle of death?

No time for pondering for sleep took you in its arms. 

The next morning no one came to fetch you. Knives was doing something “down below”. Like promised, all you needed for a bath was delivered to you along with a request to meet the Captain at midnight on the deck.  
You were relieved for the guarantee of privacy, but unsettled by the invitation.

You stood next to the tub and washed from your legs up knowing that they might be gone in a few minutes. Which happened midway, so you cleaned your top half in mermaid form. Laying comically on the carpet you ran your hands over your scale covered thighs you had oddly missed your tail. 

After they dried back into limbs you washed your hair and kept the Knives’ braids in them. 

Lounging and napping in the cabin all day was fun. You had time to snoop around in the Captain’s personals.

You sat behind the very desk he had taught you to write your name on, “The chair is much more spacious without his ass hoarding space.” You scoffed to yourself.

Looking at the quill and parchments was not very fun, but something did catch your attention:  
B.E.S  
Engraved on the edge of the desk, obscured by the dozens of documents. You ran your finder across the indentation. Odd.  
Stealing desks didn’t seem like Ren’s style. He had more than enough riches to order a costume one out of the finest wood.

Maybe it belonged to one of the poor men “the raven” had feasted on and he kept this as a trophy, you thought to yourself. Yeah he seems like the kind asshole to take a dead guys desk.

Your time to think ill of him was cut short, since midnight had fallen almost for an hour now.  
“Holy shit.” You muttered under your breath as tried to get out of the cabin and reach the deck, but your left boot refused to cooperate. 

Finally arriving, huffing and heaving, Ren wouldn’t acknowledge you. Retribution for your tardiness obviously; you had kept him waiting so he would do the same. There you were, in the night’s air in a sleeping shirt for the exactly an hour. Your nose was red from the chill, and you couldn’t feel your digits from knuckle down. You had forgotten how cruel and childish he could be.

When he finally spoke to you it was to the waves more than you since he did not make eye contact while stating, “By now you know enough about the ship to help with the logs. “ All clipped and stoic.

You said nothing in return. Your jaw remained shut, partly due to the cold and partly due to logic.  
No more “I’ll throw you into the midst of the ocean if you don’t do as I say.” for you thank you very much.

So you simply nodded.

“Good, dismissed.”

“Gee, you should write a sonnet man, just so good with words and it’s all going to waste.”, you thought as walked back rolling your eyes so hard you almost saw your brain.

Before you could sit down on the couch now claimed as yours. Knives knocked at the door dropping off ink and a big thick blank note book for logs.

Tomorrow morning you were jolted awake by the Captain himself. His eyes where still full of sleep, but he had tamed his hair. You marched to the deck Vic and Rharo were waiting there putting a cup of Caff equivalent to liquid coal in your hands. You made a face at the first sip and pushed the cup back into his rough their colossal hands. 

“It can’t be that bad. You’re being childish.” Vic snorts and drinks the whole cup in one go.

Soon you’re “making rounds” around the ship.  
First the sails the masts, and a thousand knots. Then we go down to the engine and assess fuel levels and burn efficiency. Then, it’s time to talk to the men who run the machines in the boilers and hear their reports which you had to take notes on.

Finally, the helm. That’s where the navigation lingo kicked in. You realized that Knives had really been a great teacher, because you could make sense of everything you had heard so far.  
The day slowed down after that to standing in the vicinity of Ren’s throne and the Knights taking care of arising situations. 

After the gang had a simple supper of dried fruits and smoked fish. Ren asked you to go back to the cabin which would be fine and normal if he hadn’t said “Let us retrieve to our room.” Which was suggestive in more ways than one to say the least.  
No one bat an eye at the comment though and thus, neither did you.

Within the warm space Kylo sits behind his oak desk and pulls out a book similar to the one delivered by knives yesterday, only more beaten up. 

You look over a random page he has opened. It’s a standard log. He tells you where to date the log and what to include and walks you through figuring out what is worthy to note and what is not.  
For your last activity of the day he decides to test you. 

“Now following the order I just described. Take these,” he points to the notes you made, “and make a log.”

You did as you were told quietly, trying to write as neatly as you could keeping all of knives’ instruction in mind. After twenty minutes of uninterrupted writing you were done. 

Kylo felt a little giddy the way most little shits do when they make someone anxious. He had always loved seeing people squirm. It was a habit of him to make out of pocket comments around the dinner table as a preteen; just to get a reaction from his mother or uncle. While living with his uncle it was the only fun he could have all day.

You handed him your attempt and he looked over it seeming distant and uninterested as always.

‘’Did you enjoy your bath?” He asked not looking away from the parchment.  
Really? Small talk?

“Um yes, you could say that.” You answered his bizarre inquiry.

“Good.” He commented as he got up and walked to his bed quickly.

“Wait… that’s it?? You won’t say anything about the log?” You asked with eyebrows raised and tone pinched.

He took a moment to take you in, smirking with his eyes while his lips remained in a line.

‘’Like I said…good.”

The embarrassment would not kill you but it was still irritating.  
Kylo had not broken eye contact unhurriedly getting rid of his coat and vest. His suspenders being relieved off his shoulders and hanging, and there was no sign that he would stop undressing because you were here.

A wave of naïve panic went through you, and you knew this was exactly what he wanted out of this situation; for you to shy away, and you refused to give him another thing he wanted. He was already exploiting you to do paperwork for him. A free in demand secretary.

At this point things looked like an adult version of a starring contest.  
“I would like to thank you for teaching me so much about the ship.” You said rushed and flustered in order to slow his undressing ritual.

“Well you can’t have dead weight on a ship.” He said starring into your soul.

Oh provocation? So now he is settling for a blow up rather than a display of shame. 

He shrugged his shirt off remaining in bottoms only.

“I see. And I would like to thank you for the boots…most useful to me.” You said keeping your tone sterile of any signs of effect, remaining calm.

He was feeling frustrated now. “Well I couldn’t have allowed you to spread gangrene around my deck.”  
That was a cheap shot. To bring up your bloody footprints and alluded they would cause illness among his men.

“Gangrene, good sir, is not contagious.” You say sternly.

“Well gangrene,” he pops the first two buttons out of three of his bottoms harshly and audibly, "among other things.“ The act casually suggested you could have been spreading diseases contracted from…procreational activities.  
That made you boil. “How dare you?! Is the person with a specially designated room for whores calling me a slut??!”You sneered.

“I didn’t call you a slut. Just filthy. One time is enough for these things.” He put nonchalantly.

Your tone was pointed and angry when you said “I would like to inform you that I haven’t given any man the honor.”

“Oh why am I not surprised? What man could withstand the nauseating headaches caused by your shrill voice?” Ren said dramatically covering his ears.

“m-MY VOICE? You really want to bring up my voice? I had you in the palm of my hands in TWO VERSES!” You shouted.

“Do not delude yourself little girl. It was so loud and so coarse it was obviously the reason we were followed. YOUR VOICE ALERTED THE WHOLE NAVY!” He was countering you in the screaming match.

“And your men vandalizing an entire bar and STEALING every dime had nothing to do with it?” You asked in tone questioning his intelligence.

“THEY ARE PIRATES! Do you expect them to braid your hair?” He countered back.

There was a pirate who would braid your hair, he had done it yesterday morning.

“Actually I do,” You reached for the fish tail braid,” Knives did this for me less than 48 hours ago. He is the only decent man on this ship. Arguably, the only real man too. He is the only one has treated me like a person.”

Kylo was shocked, not by the braid in your hair the word for what he felt when he saw it was “repulsed”. He was shocked by the wave of offense that engulfed him and he could not stop himself for from rambling head to toe. He did not like to see someone in your good graces especially when he was so obviously out of them.

“Wasn’t I who showed you mercy? The person who fed you, put shoes on your feet, the person who put a pen in your hands? Had it not been my mercy permitting your every breath? Whatever that boy has done, whatever it may be it was ordered by me. I told him to be your company in the storm. I told him what to teach you, where and when. He does not have the power to act on any kind of personal desire. He can’t even breathe without me wanting it.” Kylo rambled seething. He resembled a hissing snake.

“That might be true. To that I would question why you wouldn’t do it yourself since you seem to care a great deal about the credit. Yes, he may have been ordered to teach me how to make knots or work the helm, but amongst all that which was how did you put it? Yes, things I was taught to no longer be “dead weight”, he was the only one on this ship who spoke to me like I was a person and that wasn’t because of you.  
Yes, you ordered him to help me the same way you ordered to keep me in a hole for more than a week! A place I would still probably be if it weren’t for a literal storm.” You could feel your eyes strain.  
“You didn’t even know my name! I lived next to you and I know you could hear me cry every night and suffer but you never cared enough to know my name.” The tears were falling now.  
“I’m not mad over that. The same way you’re not allowed to be angry with me and expect me to be grateful for your “mercy” when it was you who imprisoned me on this ship in the first place.” You pushed the words out, your voice getting more strained with every word. Silent tears making rivulets down your face  
“And,” *sob*,”I’m sorry If I tainted your deck.”

You strode back to your couch trying to mentally fight off sobs. It was more humiliating to cry in front of your captor.

His heart had stilled in the midst of your monologue but it absolutely melted when he saw you roll onto a ball bringing your knees to your chest and trying to secretly wipe the tear stains away with the back of the flimsy oversized shirt you had been wearing from day one.

He felt shame flicker in his entire face creeping behind his ears and constricting his breathing. The image of you hugging herself in into a crescent, no pillow and no covering, when he had a bed triple the size a mountain like him needed right here being used it for less than a four hours a night made him feel like some greedy tyrant.

He identified a single feeling of hatred for himself bubbling inside his chest but he quickly averted it trying to project it onto the shirt. His mind started to race about how he hated that thing; it seemed a thousand years old in design and fabric and absolutely harsh on the skin. Not to mention it was too big and would sabotage your calligraphy by drooping over the paper. 

He still had hatred to spare and the next victim was not hard to identify, Knives. After all he was the reason for this fight right? If he weren’t so…so soft. The girl would have nothing to hold against Kylo’s action and compare. 

He wanted to snap the boy in two, but that would only villainize him more. Maybe it was seeing a few more Springs because if he were a few years younger he would have done just that by now. 

But the wise ways of Vic and life experience weighed down on him. He had killed the man who previously held Knives’ rank for less, for mere jewels that made him feel nothing, just to prove a point to the crew and look where it got him. 

He couldn’t stand himself being in this room anymore. Rearranging his clothes he stormed out of the cabin.

“Please don’t hurt him.” You cried out, only now sobering up to the mark you had placed on Knives’ back when he was only doing his job while maintaining his humanity. Your voice was lost in the slamming of the door and Ren did not react to it.

You thought about how things were looking so hopeful a few hours ago and now everything was back to grim. Exhausted from emotional whiplash you once again surrendered to an all-encompassing sleep, dreaming of infinite blues and complete freedom.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to hear your thoughts!


End file.
